Converting
by 93DeadlySins
Summary: Here's the sexiest man on earth named Sasuke Uchiha. He is in his content mood and is glad to share his tips on "How to Convert a Straight Man to Gay". Hn.
1. Lesson 1

Sasuke's Note : First of all, this is not 93deadlysins, the author. This is Sasuke Uchiha, believe it or not, cough. The author has nothing to do with my life, only a Dobe own me, and of course my creator, I guess... You know, Jashin-sama... No, just kidding. Masashi Kishimoto owns me. Now get it in the thick skull of yours. Hn.

**WARNING : YAOI. WHICH MEANS BOYXBOY LOVE STORY. IF YOU ARE HOMOPHOBIC OR ARE AGAINST IT, YOU ARE VERY WELCOME TO LEAVE THIS STORY ANY TIME. I DON'T NEED YOUR JUDGE. I'M ME, AND NOBODY IS LIKE YOU, AND THANK YOU VERY MUCH.**

* * *

Hello there.

Let me introduce myself.

My name is Sasuke Uchiha and I'm the hottest guy that ever walk on earth.

Hn.

I'm 21 years old in love with a certain Dobe. I'm here to give you all tips of _**"How to Convert a Straight Man to Gay."**_

Read and Learn very carefully.

Hn.

If you are a Gay Man, and a _Seme_ in that, who in a frustrated love life towards your _Uke-Wannabe_ Best Friend, which is as straight as an arrow _(if he said so)_, especially your said Best Friend is a damn sexy tan skin, blue eyed blonde, then don't worry. I'm in a content mood to share my tips for you. If he's a Dobe, that's a good point. I've got so much up my sleeves to help you. Here are the tips.

**1. Grope.**  
Grope his sexy, fuckable ass when the two of you walk together. When he is going to find his perpetrator, make sure you put the infamous "Uchiha's-Deadpan" as a mask. When he asked who did it, just say…

_"What nonsense are you talking about? Dobe…"._

After that, put your infamous "Uchiha's-Smirk". If he blushed, it's either from embarrassment or _something else. _Cough.

**2. Trap.**  
Trap him whenever you see any corner you sure he can't escape. Put your both hands on each side of his head. Look him in the eye. Make sure to put all your emotion on your eyes. If your eyes are black, that's a very damn good point. Make sure your breath is fresh like a peppermint, and ghost him your breath. Pull your sexy-beast Uchiha's look. If you are an Uchiha, and your target is a Dobe, he won't shove you. He'll instead close his eyes. At this moment, go whisper in his ear the sexiest sound you've ever mastered a.k.a your bedroom voice _(make sure you ghost your breath to his ear, I'm sure you've succeed sent shiver down his spine)_ and say to him something non-sense and after that, leave the Dobe speechless for life. For example, you say this;

_"There is something on your hair, let me help you, Do-be…" _

Do seduce him with your bedroom voice but at the same time do NOT make it obvious, but don't worry. If he is a Dobe, it easier to you to not sounds so obvious, because obviously if you seduce a Dobe, the Dobe will have no idea what's going on around him.

Hn…

If after you left him and he still close his eyes and he doesn't move from the corner, say this…

_"Dobe, what are you waiting for? Come hurry up."_

He will eventually open his eyes. You'll see that cute blush over his tan face up to his ears.

Shit I'm hard.

I'll be back again on the next chapter. I have to, _ahem,_ with my Dobe right now. I hope you all guys a good luck from your converting-project.

Hn.


	2. Lesson 2

Sasuke's Note : Homophobic, leave. This is my way of how I got what I wanted. Hn.

**WARNING : AS I MENTIONED ABOVE, THIS IS YAOI WHICH MEANS BOY IS IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER BOY.**

Enjoy…

* * *

Hey.

I'm back.

As you know that the two first steps I've write before, have you guys learnt them?

Good.

How was it? Worked?

Hn.

If it didn't work, you have to try again.

A man's pride is on the line here.

Remember that!

If your victim meet you again and he blushed,

**CONGRATULATION!**

Hn.

That mean he is getting closer than you think.

That mean you've succeed invading his mind.

Next step is here…

Hn.

**3. Ask.**  
Ask him to eat something involved liquid. For example, ramen, ice cream, etc. I only could suggest you that. If he is a Dobe, I'm sure he will eat those liquid thingy, for example ramen, some sauce will stuck near his lips. Ha. Choose that moment to wipe the sauce. Not with napkin, you know what I mean.

Hn.

Use your brain. You are an Uchiha? Good. You are born genius.

Use what to wipe the sauce?

Yes, you are right.

Your tongue, damn it.

Lick it good. Make sure you use the most erotic image while licking the sauce. He will actually turn red, and he will kind of avoid it by struggling.

Don't worry.

Hold him by the shoulders, make sure he can't move. While licking, close your eyes, enjoy the feeling. When you are done, stare him in the eye, make sure you are looking like you are looking for his soul through your eyes. Give him your sensual smirk, and go whisper his ear.

"There was a sauce on your face, Dobe... But don't worry..." Tease his earlobe by licking it.

After that, continue with…

"I've cleaned them."

And retreat after that and continue your ramen, and act like there is nothing wrong.

If he stayed still, believe me that he is in a daze mode.

You can smirk for your victory.

Okay, the Dobe right now is teasing me, I gotta go.

Will be back on another chapter with another steps.

Hn.


	3. Lesson 3

Sasuke's Note : Homophobic? Leave. There is the back button, go click them. Hn.

Warning : Just not a homophobic content.

* * *

You missed me?

Great, because I don't miss you.

Hn.

I was on vacation with my Dobe, so sorry for the late update.

No, scratch that.

Uchihas don't sorry.

Except a certain hot dude named Sasuke to his beloved Dobe.

Hn.

This morning I woke up with a Dobe between my legs.

"Why you do that."

He said... "Good morning to you, too!"

... With his idiotic grin.

The idiotic grin that I love.

I smirked the bedroom smirk.

He was sweating, so was I.

He was flushed, damn it if it wasn't cute.

Hn.

I asked him again why, with my serious expression I could muster.

He said that I was just too sexy to deny,

... And he continued his task.

The best morning ever.

Hn.

Like really, I really had no plans to be this sexy today, but hey, shit happens.

Hn.

Anyway, how was the lesson I gave you, worked?

I guess this time I won't gave you any, since I forgot what else I have to give it to y'all desperate homo out there.

Hn.

Anyway, Itachi.

I knew you also one of my loyal readers of this project.

Seriously?

Hn.

* * *

Itachi : Damn.

Sasuke : *rolls eyes*


End file.
